What's the difference between a screwdriver and Clinton?
A screwdriver turns in screws and Clinton screws interns.
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Why does President Clinton invite so many ladies into his private study?  

He wants to show them his executive branch. 

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What are the job requirements for secretaries at the White House?

The have to know the President's zip code. 

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In a surprise interview, Monica was asked about the details of her late night meetings with the President...

"I can't remember the details, she said, but I know the answer is on the tip of my tongue!"

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Why does Bill Clinton wear underwear?

To keep his ankles warm. 

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What's the new name for the place where Bill Clinton does his business? 

The Oral Office. 

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Monica Lewinsky told Bill Clinton in the Oval Office that the ceiling needs to be painted

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Why did Monica Lewinsky accept an offer to work on the White House staff?
She didn't know what "staff" they really meant.

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What did Hillary say when Bill told her his side of the story?
This one is hard to swallow.
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Clinton's lawyer says, "Bill, they can never prove this, they don't have any evidence." Bill says "Just how did you come to that conclusion?" Lawyer says "Well, if it's in, nobody can see it and if it's out, you're not doing it!"

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Nixon: Ex-President
Clinton: Sex-President
Nixon: Couldn't stop Kissinger
Clinton: Couldn't stop kissing her
Nixon: Talked about achieving peace with honor
Clinton: Talked about getting a piece while on her
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Why does Monika Lewinsky have such voluminous cheeks?
She´s holding back evidence!

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What does Bill Clinton say about Monica Lewinsky?
Now the bitch opens her mouth!

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Lil Johnny
It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in her grades. There is really nothing to do. All the kids are restless because there is nothing to do and it is near the end of the day.
The teacher says, "Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave early today." Little Johnny says to himself, "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question".
The teacher asked, "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Susie said, "Abraham Lincoln". The teacher said, "That's right Susie. You can go". Johnny was MAD.
The teacher asked, "Who said, 'I Have a Dream'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Mary said, "Martin Luther King". The teacher said, "That's right Mary. You can go". Johnny was even MADDER than before.
The teacher asked, "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Nancy said, "John Kennedy". The teacher said, "That's right Nancy. You can go". Johnny was BOILING MAD.
Then the teacher turned her back, and Johnny said, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut". The teacher asked, "WHO SAID THAT?" Johnny said, "BILL CLINTON, CAN I GO NOW?"

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Why is the best part about being a intern at the white house?
You get hands on experience.

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What is Bill's definition of safe sex?
When Hillary is out of town.

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